Here's a crazy idea: just stop with the Oscars already.
Stop with the pomp and pageantry, stop with the ridiculous outfits (looking at you, Timothy Chalamet) stop with the cheesy music numbers and just cancel the Oscars from ever happening again.
Instead just have a little stretch of red carpet, put Adam Driver in a tux and just have him walk up and down. For the guys you could get Jessica Chastain.
Have somebody that knows what they're doing greet them and ask them a few questions about their latest movies.
Then put them up on stage and have them each read the phone book for five minutes.
That's really all I can't take any more, please.
