Monday, September 30, 2002

Tips on Getting Started with the Tarot

Some years ago I was browsing the New Age section of a bookstore. I bumped into someone I had gone to school with but did not know quite well. We started pointing out books on the shelves that we had read, briefly reviewing & recommending. I gestured at a couple of Tarot books. "These are pretty good. Are you into Tarot?"

My acquaintance blanched, "You should be careful," she warned, "You can be attacked by demons if you mess with the Tarot." This pretty much stopped me short. She had seemed more sophisticated and knowledgeable about other metaphysical topics. Not wishing to challenge her personal beliefs, I merely raised my eyebrows and stammered something like, "Oh, demons, yeah."

I have been reading the cards off and on for almost ten years now--to be honest, more "off" than on, it depends on what is going on in my life and how I'm feeling, time constraints and so forth, but for me, the Tarot is more of a friendly tool than an "ooga booga" scary thing.

This little article is partially my attempt to kickstart myself into getting involved in the cards again, and partially an offering to the Tarot newbies I meet on message boards and online communities. My approach is simple: If it feels good, do it. If it doesn't feel right for you, skip it.

CHOOSING A DECK: One of the best ways is to go to a metaphysical bookstore, because they will usually have several "demo" decks that are open that you can look at. Choose one that feels good to you, you should feel comfortable with the pictures. A word about the pictures: the pictures are what determine the usefulness of a deck. It is important, at least when you are just starting out, to make sure your deck has full pictures on every card. Some decks omit pictures on the pip cards--cards one to ten of the minor arcana suits (wands, cups, swords, coins, or however they are labeled.) Save these decks for later when you are starting a Tarot art deck collection.

Choose a book to go with it--those little booklets that come with the deck are ok but they don't have enough information. The book should be fairly simple and be keyed to your deck--if you have a Rider-Waite deck, a book designed to go with the Crowley deck will not work! Check the pictures in the book, or if there aren't any, check the book's introduction and it will either tell you this is ok to use with all decks or whatever. You can also go with a deck/book set if you have the dough.

BONDING WITH YOUR DECK: This is very important to being able to key into your deck and have it absorb your energy--it sounds weird, but you have to "bond" with your deck like it was a person. The way I personally do this is by putting it under my pillow at night. Also, handling them as much as possible & playing with them is a good thing. A special meditation you can do with your cards is to sit in a comfortable spot where you won't be disturbed for a few minutes. Sit with your legs uncrossed & your cards in your hand, resting on your lap or out in front of you. Close your eyes, and visualize a golden ball of brilliant light starting at your feet. Move it slowly up, and imagine that as it passes, it leaves relaxation, health, & vitality throughout your entire body. When it reaches your shoulders, imagine the energy from the golden ball spilling down your arms, into your hands, and directly into your Tarot deck. Then allow it to move up to your shoulders, neck & head. As it reaches your head, imagine your brain being illuminated with intuition and wisdom. End by taking 3 deep breaths & coming out of it. This can be done in a couple of minutes, and it would be a good practice to do every time you sit down to do readings.

Another way to meditate with your deck is to just pull cards, maybe one a day, and just look at it for about five minutes. How do the pictures make you feel? What do the symbols mean to you? This will be valuable later when you are interpreting cards in readings.

TAKING CARE OF YOUR CARDS: Wrap your cards in a piece of cloth to protect them. Some say that the best cloth is a piece of black silk, but I say the best thing to do is go to a fabric store and choose whatever kind of fabric feels right to you. Purchase enough yardage to make a square, and you can also use this wrap cloth as a layout cloth, also a good thing to have. Another good thing is either a bag or a box to keep your cards in.

It is a good idea to keep your deck away from prying eyes when not in use. As far as allowing others to handle it goes, use your judgment on this. I generally wouldn't let anyone with really hostile energy touch my deck, or read for them. Ditto people that tend to have disdain for the Tarot like it was some kind of superstition. Ultimately, anyone you read for will be touching the cards, so go with your intuition on this issue.

Other accessories for readings include crystals, either raw, unpolished ones or the kind that are polished that you find in nature stores. Good ones to choose are rose quartz, amethyst, and sodalite. Do the same "energy" meditation that you do with your cards, then set them out on your layout cloth during a reading, where it will help balance the energy in the room.

Music, incense, and special jewelry or clothing can also help set the mood here, once again, go with what you feel is best.

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Just to clarify my position on the whole fat bands issue, I had kind of an outburst this weekend when I saw these two fat chicks, I think they called themselves "Floetic" or something like that, on the MTV.

It brought to mind this band (long before my nieces' day, back in the grunge era) called Screaming Trees. They were formed by the portly brother duo, Van & Clive Conner. Two unkempt looking fat guys in lumberjack shirts, playing rip roarin' grunge metal, good times. Mr. Adam Duritz also carries some extra poundage.

All I'm sayin' is, fat people need to get out there in the music world, and represent. Fat people are not seen on MTV enough, and the few times they are, they are the fricken' coolest thing going!

I also like a man with a little meat on his bones. But that's another issue.

Tuesday, September 24, 2002

Chicago, Chicago, that toddlin' town!

My brother is pulling up stakes and moving to Chicago. I had joked with him that he needed to grow one of those soul patch goatees and start wearing a hat & dark glasses. This was a Chicago blues man reference, which I don't think he got. He is so not one of those kind of people, which is why it was funny (to me at least.)

Then by chance I happened upon this when I was looking at a message board devoted to books.

Nine floors of books. Can I make it any plainer? Nine. I have been putting my books into storage because I have too many for my little bedroom. Maybe I will talk more about that later.

And in other news:I have decided to quit the Counting Crows message board. Most of those people (not all, there is a small handful of intelligent, artistic types) are spoiled, ignorant ghetto children. I just could not bond with those people. Also, this could be part of my beginning to become bored with the Crows. While their latest album is definitely a keeper, I am not very happy with that "American Girls" single, or the video, which did nothing for me. And I think Adam is becoming whiny. Which for him is like, embarrassingly whiny. Last year there was that audio clip of him talking about people griping about the length of the shows, etc, and he sounded so out of it from drugs it was embarrassing (which makes you wonder why they stopped doing that little feature on the CC web site.) This year he's complaining because someone is griping that they didn't get an autograph or a picture or something.

It just makes me want to say, "Hey Adam, there's a thing called a fourth wall, and one of the reasons that it's there is because it keeps you from having to care too much what we all think." He is so generous in trying to communicate with fans as much as possible, but his level of involvement could be dangerous. It makes me think of Roger Waters, how at one point before he wrote the Wall, he had grown to hate the way people acted at concerts, to even hate his own fans, and wanted to spit on them (not even in a punk rock sort of way, Pink Floyd being so unpunk it's not even funny. Successful 70s rock band with nothing to rebel against.) I wonder if and when this will happen to you Adam? When it does, rest assured, Hermgirl will have already left the building. Until then, I am content. You are a true rock prima donna. You and the rest of the band are still the best thing going.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: It is not an easy job being a Counting Crows fan.

Wednesday, August 14, 2002

The Lowly Toaster Oven...

[music|Counting Crows--Hard Candy]

"Dear Mr. Ralph Fletcher:
Hi. My name is Andy Schlaack, and I like toaster ovens (really I do!), but that's not why I'm writing..."
Ralph Fletcher--Live Writing

Just the word toaster oven sparked this memory for me about my high school days. I went to a "special" high school. There were only about 20 people at the most attending at any given time, and it was run by the local hospital as an outpatient clinic/rehab school thingy. It was like one rung down from Juvenile Hall. Basically these were kids whom no one knew what to do with, so they warehoused them here in hopes they would make the decision to straighten up or whatever. My one infraction (attempting to run away from home twice when I was 12) landed me a shrink of mid level competence and six years of attendance at this lovely institution (it's amazing how much mileage you can get just by being a smart aleck.)

Anyway, in the facilities of this place was a little kitchen area, a fridge and a table with foodstuffs and a toaster oven. About every eight months or so, the toaster oven would either catch fire or just explode. We would receive these toaster ovens from god knows where, it often looked like the electrician general would not recommend the use of them. There were kids in this place that would periodically have to be sent to "the quiet room" to calm down, and they trusted us with these combustible monstrosities. It was quite humorous, to go in the back and smoke a joint, go to the kitchen area and start an English muffin, and then sit down and watch the thing explode.

We would remain in a state of toaster ovenlessness for about two months. Then one of the head guys would make an announcement, "Ok guys, they're sending us another toaster oven," they would look around the room and pause for gravity, "So let's take good care of it and maybe we'll show them we deserve the privileges we get." And the whole toaster oven drama would start all over again.

Who would have thought that the lowly toaster oven could provide such a trenchant object lesson for having faith in human nature?

Saturday, June 15, 2002

America's Funniest Job Interviews

[music|Elvis Costello--When I Was Cruel]

So I'm being interviewed for a receptionist position at a synagogue temple office, and the topic of the very nature of the place came up in the conversation.

I was trying to come up with an interesting sounding list of issues one might encounter in such a place. The end of which sounded something like "...personal stuff, faith, the spirit...world..." And inside my head I hear this Chandler Bing kind of voice, saying, "The spirit WORLD? What the heck is THAT? You sound like you're applying for a job with JOHN EDWARD!"

If the guy heard my clunker, he didn't bat an eye. Actually, the interview went quite well, I got very good vibes from it. But I wonder if he turned to the other guy after I left and had a giggle over my faux pas. I have to go work on my follow-up letter now, I need to think of an un-heavy-handed way of working the word "spiritual"into it so I sound like I know what I'm talking about.

Monday, May 27, 2002

I may be revealing a little too much here...

[music|Ryan Adams--Gold]

In case you hadn't noticed I am a flawed individual. I have issues. Tonight's offering points up just how twisted I am in my own little way.

I was perusing this website. In the section labeled "Occult Humor", specifically a delightful article entitled "The Rite of Ritual Defecation", I was struck by a thought. The times I talk to myself the most (or rather, the times I yell at people who aren't there in a pissed off way) are usually when I am in the bathroom, on the crapper, or showering. It is at these times when I am quite literally cleansing myself from the things that piss me off. You gotta hand it to me for being extremely vulnerable here. Only the Hermgirl could impart such life lessons: No problem so big that a good healthy crap can't take care of it...

Then I started thinking of a British comedy I saw years ago where the characters talked about "Gandhi's Laxative" and how Gandhi had recieved enlightenment while sitting on the crapper. What was really funny was how they pronounced Gandhi like "candy" instead of the pretentious American way of saying "Gone-di" with the long A sound...

Thanks to Amoris for bringing me into an insight in a way he (she?) probably didn't anticipate.

Thursday, May 23, 2002

And now for the inevitable mindless rant...

[music|Too much of a headache to be listening to anything.]

Well, this week I was going to have a very nice entry for you, but what I want to say today is that I hate hate HATE my job! About the only advantage to it is that I get a decent discount on books, but I am getting so sick of working in retail. It has been a very hectic week of people not coming in cuz they didn't feel like it and the rest of us having to make up for it.

Retail is filled with the dregs of humanity. If they aren't sexually harassing you, they're doing as little work as humanly possible. I had originally thought that working at a bookstore would be cool, but it is no different from working at Carl's Jr. or someplace stupid like that.

Sunday, May 19, 2002

My Own Private Idaho

Ok, so here's something I learned today: Don't ever do anything beyond the pale, because people will screw you for it if they can. Simply put, there is no honor among thieves. I went to work today, and I waited in the rain for over an hour for the zygote that is my boss to come in and open up, he's the only one with the key.

He then confronts me about my discussing him with our boss regarding the fact that he doesn't do his share of the work. But it wasn't like I initiated these conversations with our boss, it was more like she is not stupid and she has been observing that things are not as they should be.

The way he put it to me today was basically if I scratch his back, he'd scratch mine. Anyone that knows me knows that Hermie don't play that way.

When I got home I called my boss and fessed up to any possible thing I could have done wrong at all.

Friday, May 17, 2002

A consumer report...

[music|David Bowie--Hunky Dory & Hours]

I was cleaning up in the kitchen today, and I have made a decision: Don't buy Ziplock Double Guard bags, they are bullshit. They suck; the whole concept of having a bag inside of another bag is so anally retentive I can't stand it.

I have the house all to myself this weekend and I cleaned out the fridge. I am going to make the most of kick-ass salad you ever saw, and then I am going to have a naked pagan ritual in the living room. I did promise my aunt, though, that I would not burn the house down, so I kind of have to keep it low-key.

Wednesday, March 06, 2002

Last night I watched the new Ozzy Osbourne show--cuz you gotta love the Oz. At one point he was talking to his son, and he said "Oi lahve youwall, oi lahve you to pieces, but you're driving me mad!" After the show I went to my brother in the den and said, "Oi lahve youwall." He responded "Oi lahve you to pieces!"

This morning at 4:30 I went in my robe and jammies to my mom in the bathroom getting ready for work. Arms outstretched like Jesus I intoned, "Oi lahve youwall." She responded "Oi lahve you to pieces!"

You gotta love the Oz.