Listen, punk:

If you could go back and talk to yourself at age 16, what 5 things would you say?

1. Quit smokin' that damn dope!
2. Do your homework!
3. Kick that manipulatin' bitch you call a best friend to the curb, she will cost you more money, time, and tears than she is worth.
4. Ya know, boys are not really evil. You are gonna really like them someday. Get your nose out of the weird books once in a while and find one to talk to. No, screaming at Ian Gillian from the edge of the stage does not count.
5. Put the damn bong down, hippie!

They say I'm a cheap date...

So Mom and I are going out to luch on Saturday to celebrate my birthday. Where do I want to go? Subway.

I talked with my sis about it, then I emailed her:

By the way, Sis, I really love these pics of Jeff. Thanks.

Quiznos is a pretender to the Subway throne. Eat a meatball sammitch and be happy.

Love,
Your Sister, the Hermgirl

Dissemble/disassemble...

Dear President Bush:

"...people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble—that means not tell the truth."

I really think a block of muenster cheese could do a better job of being president than you're doing.

After a long day of not getting the country embroiled in a pointless war, the American people could make a delicious sandwich with the president.

Your friend,

The Hermgirl


(president@whitehouse.gov)

So here's the full scoop:

I am now working as an office clerk for a small business, a bail bonds/traffic school/insurance broker/ DMV registration service/uhh, dessert topping and floor wax...

My job is to answer phones, take messages, send faxes, and file papers. I am the ONLY one in the office, the few people that work there breeze in and out occasionally, on their way to somewhere else apparently.

I had my only interview for this job last night at 8:45 pm--the gal was on her way somewhere and had found the resume I dropped off. Gave me the key, I came in this morning,. I talked with one guy who came in for about a half an hour to inspect some papers.

I sent two faxes, I separated some files and put them in different piles (are we sensing a pattern here? This is an easy job!) I "familiarised" myself with the filing system by snooping through it, and found some interesting stuff in the bail bonds section on "interviews and interrogations" that talked about how to tell if someone's really telling you the truth--I'll be reading that one thoroughly later, I'm sure.

I'm sensing that whatever work they give me to do will probably take about three hours at the most to complete, then the rest of the day is mine. I anticipate doing a lot of reading, like Henry Winkler did in "Night Shift", before Michael Keaton came along and spoiled everything...

I am going to make it my business to be the best office clerk these people ever saw. Regular, daytime hours (hello, bodyclock realignment!), fairly good money. Last night I was so excited I could hardly sleep. Tonight I am so tired I don't think I will have that problem, 'nighty-night all.

I mean, I'm two doors down from a place that serves chili cheese fries, could things get any better?

Tighten up your wigs, buddies!

So, bing, bang, boom, I now have the office job I have been trying to get for years.

No more dead end retail. No more smelling like dog poop. No more paychecks that are gone after two little books, one CD and a nice lunch.

I knew with this place lightning was either gonna strike or it wasn't.

How do you like that? More on this story as it develops.

I got this email from a friend:

One of my friends in real life (really.)

In it she said: "There is alot more that happened but I do not waht to board you."

I am going to convince her to start a blog!!! (Seriously!)

Hermgirl,

Waiting to be boarded...

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Tarot Mages

I hope everyone was good to their mom this weekend.

My sis and I took Mom to a nice restaurant in Half Moon Bay, right next to the beach. It was nice seeing my niece, who is a little punk rocker with her pink and black checked vans (oh, the memories that brings back!)

Then yesterday, I met with my friend Cerulean from the Aeclectic Tarot message board, and we had the first meeting of the San Mateo County Tarot Association, which at this point, and maybe for the first few meetings, consists of just us, and maybe a couple of others, that didn't show yesterday.

We had coffee at Kepler's, and discussed all manner of things. We then did a reading on the future of the group, which I am going to post my interpretation of, both here and on the AT board sometime at the end of the week, because it was one of those big spreads that I really have to chew over.

She also again very generously gifted me with a new tarot deck, the Tarot of the Secret Garden, which I will post a review of sometime soon.

We then went to Feldman's Books, a nice used bookstore near Kepler's, where I purchased The New Tarot for the Aquarian Age, a deck from the sixties. Look for a post on that one soon as well.

Slamdancing With the Angels, or, "At my left hand, Uriel..."

"Zeus speaks: Drink my friends, drink with the gods of Olympus and become one with them. Be one of us and part of all that has been in this beautiful land. I will make you all gods and goddesses, with powers and realms of your own. I ask only that you acknowledge me as ruler of Olympus and all who belong to it. (He holds out the cup and waits.)"
--D.A. Nowicki, The Shining Paths

The week before last, I was offered a similar cup to drink from. I can't quite name it exactly at this juncture, but I've been invited to do something.

I have been hoping for this opportunity for a while and been preparing for it, but naturally now that it's here I am beset with niggling doubts.

Do I take the red pill or the blue pill?

After living under that question for the past week, Sunday night I'm doing my nocturnal thing in my room, listening to one of those college radio stations. The kind that plays the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, b/w Screaming Jay Hawkins, b/w Diamondia Galas, b/w Anton LaVey doing torch songs with an organ, b/w some kinda ambient stuff that sounds like breaking glass and people screaming mixed together.

So, I got very confrontational with my Spirit Guide.

My eyes fell on my Doreen Virtue Healing With the Angels and Archangel Oracle cards (I was ridin' the razor's edge the other night, buddies!) and I said, "OK, baby, let's dance! You TELL me what I should do!"

I threw the big cards on the bed, mixing them violently. This was how the draw fell:

1. Trust
2. You Know What to Do--Archangel Uriel: Trust your inner knowlege, and act upon it without delay.
3. Forgiveness
4. Relationship Harmony--Archangel Raguel: We angels are opening the hearts of eveyone involved. Arguments and conflicts are being resolved now.
5. Abundance

Just as I laid these cards out and was looking at them, the radio show hostess came on. Her voice was deep, throaty, and suitably gothy. Her name (I am not making this up!) was Ophelia Necro.

She was saying something about getting mentally prepared: "For some of you, this will mean going to sleep. For others...You know what to do!"

Astrology Quiz

Your Rising Sign is Pisces Dreaming and introspective, you're often lost in your thoughts. Which is okay by you... you're inner world is pretty darn awesome. And while you are inwardly confident, sometimes you seem a bit unsure. People often handle you more delicately than they need to. You love luxury, and even if you're a bit broke, you want things to look "rich." Mysterious and demure, you keep secrets about yourself to remain an enigma.

What is Your Rising Sign?

This is so true, especially the part about how I'm inwardly confident, and people often handle me more delicately than they need to. Plus this factor is exacerbated by how I look so much younger than I really am.

Recent Bookstore and BATS Aquisitions

• Lon Milo DuQuette--The Book of Ordinary Oracles (Very cute, and indeed quite useful, and I got a very nice autograph!)
• Hello Tarot (What happens when you mix Sanrio and Tarot?)
• Gerald Suster--The Legacy of the Beast (This one, and the next three, gotten at Green
  Apple Books in San Francisco)
• Aleister Crowley--The Heart of the Master
• DuQuette--Angels, Demons, and Gods of the New Millennium
• Franz Bardon--Initiation into Hermetics (only fifteen bucks--SCORE!)
• Laura Scott & Mary kay Linge--Divining the Future (I found this at the Book Market after I went to BATS--apparently, I hadn't spent my last available dollar yet.)

So, that gives me something to do, in addition to the philosophy homework I have to get back to...

Adventures in the Tarot Brigade

Lately I have been attending Tarot classes taught by the weird and wonderful Thalassa, where I made many new friends.

An interesting highlight from the last class was an exercise she called the "Carnack" exercise, in which we acted like the Johnny Carson psychic character, putting a card up to our forehead with eyes closed and talking about the impressions we got. Actually, this seems like a pretty good thing to do, to help open the psychic center of one's brain--I think I will do this once a week.

What really baked my noodle about this was that the guy sitting next to me in class immediately named his card and the colors and emotions evoked by the card. Woo, scary. This is a guy you definitely want reading for you because he's got mad skills.

Anyhoo, on completion of that, it was on to the great celebration of all things divinatory, SFBATS!!!

And of course, I got to hobnob with the hoy and the polloy, first and foremost being the lovely and talented (and one of my favorite people) Lon Milo Duquette, who introduced me to one of the guys working on the upcoming Crowley film and I found out there was no room in the budget to have Jude Law in the starring role (crestfallen though I was about this, at least that means that the Johnny Depp money is also out of reach. Johnny Depp would just be wrong, I think.)

Other highlights included Rachel Pollack, the Joseph Campbell of Tarot, who told a wonderful fairy tale, and then expounded on the commonalities between Tarot and fairy tales. I asked her what she thought about current pop culture and things like comic books and movies like the Matrix having more metaphysical content--I didn't know at the time that she had actually done some comic book art--I read about it later and felt like an idiot.

Then I was having a good discussion with a lady for about a half hour when she revealed that she was Valerie Sim, author of Tarot Outside the Box and creator of the Comparative Tarot.

On the whole, I had a tremendous time, meeting famous authors and getting to talk to them, and totally acting like a book groupie. I made printouts of a couple of my spreads and passed them out liberally to my friends.

I can't wait for the next one. I feel like these are my people--I like them so much and want them to like me too--kind of a dorky thing to say, but that's how I feel.

Five of Cups--I think this means I needn't feel like such a dork up against these Tarot biggies. If I look around me I will see my own potential and the resources that are there for me to be a great writer someday. I must not overlook my inheritance.

And with that, I must go do homework. My sadistic philosophy prof has me reading about something called "hard determinism" which I do not like very much at all.<|P

Train Home

So the other night I went to my Tarot class up in Berkely, and on the train home I saw something interesting.

Getting on the train just ahead of me were these two girls who had the same kind of hair, it was cropped short and very light blonde. They had the same style sense about them, but they weren't dressed exactly alike.

They were like a personification of Gemini, exept they were Sagittarius and Pisces(I asked them--I know, I'm weird that way.)

The Piscean had a scarf on, just like the one I was wearing that night (and I know this is a very bad pic, but it was a ten-dollar digicam.) exept hers was varigated white and green--very nice, but not homemade like mine.

I just thought it was an interesting bit of synchronicity.

You scored as Spanish. You should learn Spanish. It can be useful especially if you live in the United States. Spanish 67% Latin 53% Arabic 40% French 40% Chinese 33% English 27% Japanese 13% What language should you learn? created with QuizFarm.com

Actually, I might do that next, after Philosophy. I once took a course kind of half-assedly, and now I know how to use el banyo when I need the WC, and I got to where I could communicate a little with people I worked at McDonald's with. Un poquito Espanol, es muey bueno! I must pick it up again.

So, anyhoo, I've been busy studying my philosophy, which is why I haven't posted in a while. I just took a midterm, which I just barely scraped through with a decent grade, I think.

In other news, I've been going to a Tarot class up in Berkeley, tomorrow night is the final one. Also, I will once again be attending the wonderful SFBATS, so I'm a happy camper about that.

At this juncture I have nothing else to report. I have a full day ahead of me tomorrow in the City, so I best be hittin' the hay.

Just felt like checking in.

No wonder he wanted to kill his father and fuck his mother...

http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2665896?htv=12

I am Hermit, Hear Me Roar!

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	hermgirl
Your haiku:	a little faith in yourself the hermit--you have the capacity
Username:
Created by Grahame

So I've been thinking about all the crap I have to get done these days--look at this list:

• Housework


• Philosophy homework


• Learning Tarot/magick


• Reading and getting rid of books


• Working on website and blogging


• Getting a part-time job


• Saving $$$


• Walking the dogs at a decent hour


• Doing craft projects--knitting, crocheting, learning new stitches, etc.
  

Amazing, says I. Thankfully, someone dropped this cool link (thanks, Sunfell!) and I followed the links and the upshot is that I've decided to start on David Allen's program. I know, yet another book to read--I'm one of those people that's always trying to finish eight books at the same time.

On that front, I'm about a third of the way through the Parsons bio, and this evening I was thinking about how a crater on the dark side of the moon is named after him. If I'm not careful, I may find myself becoming enamored with Jack Parsons. Something about a hot nerdy scientist, I dunno.

So I had that on my mind and pulled this card: The Moon. As I meditated on what it might have to say to me, I started thinking that it doesn't always mean self-deception, but imagination, and I started thinking of myself as that lobster, or another creature, rising out of that pond, and following that path between the towers, into the dark unknown.

I started thinking about other things like the Hundred Acre Wood, and the woods outside Hogwarts, where Harry Potter confronts Valdemort one evening when he's out wandering around.

I checked Waite's Pictorial Key, and it has this to say about the Moon:

The path between the towers is the issue into the unknown. The dog and wolf are the fears of the natural mind in the presence of that place of exit, where there is only reflected light to guide it.

The last reference is a key to another form of symbolism. The intellectual light is a reflection and beyond it is the unknown mystery which it cannot shew forth. It illuminates our animal nature, types of which are represented below--the dog, the wolf, and that which comes up out of the deeps, the nameless and hideous tendency which is lower than the savage beast. It strives to attain manifestation, symbolized by crawling from the abyss of water to the land, but as a rule it sinks back whence it came. The face of the mind directs a calm gaze upon the unrest below; the dew of thought falls; the message is: Peace, be still; and it may be that there shall come a calm upon the animal nature, while the abyss beneath shall cease from giving up a form.

Morty, I wave my granny pants in salute to you!

Just surfing around the net and came upon this piece of awesomeness. You should go there. It is an amazing site with lots of good stuff like forums, links and streaming video. You should check it out, if only for the clips of James Inman, and the ever wonderful RAWilson.

Also, today I was at Barnes & Noble, puttering around and having coffee, when I happened upon a new bio of Jack Parsons.

Strange Angel--by George Pendle, ISBN # 015100997X

Seems to be a little bit better written than John Carter's Sex and Rockets, going deeper into his childhood and literary interests, such as early sci-fi pulp mag "Amazing Stories", as well as the temper of the times he was living in. Indeed, Pendle even does a good job of making rocket science romantic and mystical (as it certainly must have been to Parsons.)

On this perusal, Strange Angel seems like a good read, with lots of background info and references to support the story. I am left with the feeling that I definitely want more than a quick skim of this book at the B & N coffee shop.

For those of you who don't know who Jack W. Parsons was, he was a rocket scientist at Pasadena's Jet Propulsion Labratory in the 40s and early 50s, when he died in a mysterious accidental explosion in his home.

He was also a Thelemite who wrote a book (which I have yet to read, unfortunately) entitled Freedom is a Two Edged Sword. He turned his home into an early hippie commune, that was much talked about in the press.

He hobb-knobbed with the sci-fi intelligentsia, authors such as Robert Heinlein, Ray Bradbury, Jack Williamson, and A.E. Van Vogt. It was his association with Elrond Hubbard, himself a pulp
fiction author at the time and the creator of Dianetics, that led to some interesting misadventures. That is all I'll tell you. Go google it, you won't be sorry.

Various & Sundry Things

Well, I was kind of depressed earlier this week, but I think I'm OK now. Part of it having to do with what a damn mess my room is, and having no $$$--which is nobody's fault but mine (spot the Zeppelin lyrics.)

Also, my parent's separation (which I'm sure is permanent, not that I thought it wasn't) is starting to wear on my dad. He has been bitching and moaning about how Mom doesn't love him, etc. He looks at this as Mom doing something to him. He doesn't seem to think about the fact that he didn't really act very lovingly towards her, or ever take notice of the many warnings she gave him.

I love my dad, and we get along most of the time (I could also say the same of my mom), but he really drives me nuts sometimes. He is 70, and it is like he is going senile. He talks incessantly, and he is constantly calling me into the living room when I am busy to look at something on tv, or to push food on me. He is so invasive sometimes I just want to scream, "Jesus, do you EVER shut up?" I find myself wishing he would just die, already, so Mom could come home and we could fix the house up the way she wants it.

The other day My Gay Neighbor came over and had to have me use my key to get into her place, despite the fact that someone (her cousin) was already in the house and could have just answered the door. She introduced me to him gushingly, saying, "She's cool! She can read
your Tarot cards for you!" she ended by stroking my hair with a flourish. OK.

I will be doing a Tarot reading here tomorrow, but I'm afraid the Tarot Hoedown will be going on a sabbatical, due to philosophy homework.

Regarding the philosophy textbook, I am noticing it is about as subtle as a heart attack--"How extensively have you examined the beliefs that have come to define who you are and how you live your daily life?...Are you, say, a Xian who believes in one God, because that is how you were
raised but had you been raised in India, you would have been a Hindu, believing in many Gods?"--and using the existence of God and the issue of abortion in examples explaining what syllogisms and disjunctive statements are!

I can just see some of the soccer moms and yuppie chicks who bring babies to class(there were a couple that I saw) dropping away. I know at least one of them will loudly declaim (either to the enire class, or they will seek me out--because I'm sure they will see me as one who really cares what they think) how much this material is challenging to their beliefs. Some will see this as good, and may find it refreshing for their mundane muggle brain, and others will simply cave in at the thought of actually contemplating what motivates their lives.

I am around the same age as many of these women (and the class is almost all women) and I can visualize them being the same kind of kids who picked on me in school. My only crime against them: being someone who preferred reading and thinking for myself, rather than following the herd in a mindless attempt to be popular and wear the right clothes, have the right hairstyle, etc.

Now that they are old and tapped out, after pounding out who knows how many babies, they are going to attempt logical and independent thought?

I salute those who actually succeed in freeing their minds. The rest, I will be laughing at you on the inside.

Sunday Night (or Monday Morning) Tarot Hoedown

First, (since I don't have much to offer this week,) I thought I'd share some Tarot links that I think are really good. With the exeption of Aeclectic, these are ones that don't usually get the
airtime they deserve.

Aeclectic Tarot

Church of Tarot

Supertarot

Tarot Corner

Tarot Traditions

Tarot Passages

Tainted Tarot


Next, as promised, I will demonstrate the use of the Soul Questions spread. I did the reading for this on Friday night, when (as usual--you guys know me) I was up waaaay too late since I had to be up and ready to go somewhere at 7:30. You will note that the cards seem to take me out to the woodshed.

While a sound drubbing might make for an interesting evening in some quarters and at appropriate times, you've heard me say it before: sometimes the cards just kick my ass.

Consider this an object lesson: When you get a reading that is not quite a happy affair, you may not want to discount what the cards are telling you out of hand. After all, this is your subconscious speaking to you, saying things you might want to say to yourself if you had yourself sitting in a chair right in front of you.

1. King of Pents, reversed--Danger, Will Robinson! Your faculties are dulled and open to corruption.


2. Four of Cups--Possiblities are there, but you need to get out of your own way first.


3. Moon--Your overactive imagination is working against you, kid.


4. Nine of Swords--You are wallowing in the mire of
   despondency--once again, get out of your own way and have a little
   faith in yourself.


5. The Hermit--You have the capacity to share the secrets you have with others.


6. King of Swords, reversed--Don't be selfish and cruel--you could be setting yourself up for a fall.
   

This is basically saying, "Listen, silly, I'm not gonna give you a reading when you are up so late when you have to get up early the next day!"

I am abandoning my purpose by staying up late. I wasn't feeling right about doing the reading. I was decieving myself and so not utilizing my talents well. I was very unhappy about not having enough time, just need faith in my abilities.

One bright spot about this reading was it told me I could utilize this to share my foibles with others, and thereby pass on a little knowledge that way.

It tells me that my staying up late is a manifestation of bad selfishness.