Wednesday, April 23, 2003

A day in the life of your average Hermgirl...

I went to school today.

I attend a vocational school, Regional Occupational Program, where I study MS Office. I am at the point where I have a certain amount of skill, I can type & file up a storm, and I'm pretty good at Word 2000, but I don't yet have the skills I need to get that good paying office job I keep talking about. I've gone too far to abandon my journey, but I'm not quite where I want to be.

ROP has students with different levels of education and job experience, many of them with much more of both than I have. I just went straight to work after graduating high school, and I had a lot of things going on in my twenties. So I've basically been trying to rebuild my life/career for the past seven years, through fits and starts.

Right now I'm looking at the possibility of going to work part time at KFC so I can pay for my classes and the few little bills I have to pay. I'm very lucky in that my parents let me live with them rent-free, although sometimes it is not so lucky, if you know what I mean.

So I get to school today and unfortunately I arrive a little late, so I have to sit near these gals, who, though I like them well enough, really bug me because they talk a lot, and they seem so nice I get drawn into conversations with them that prevents me from doing my schoolwork.

Thank god I have this home computer, or I might not get anything done. And then of course, there are the inevitable questions about how my job situation is going.

I had made the mistake of telling one of them that I had mild Attention Deficit Disorder, and now she wants to make a project out of me. She wants me to do all these things that would ultimately make me a lot less happy and much worse off than if I just did things my way. Why must everyone achieve and acquire things at the same level as everyone else?

And then there is Anita. She and I had a mutual friend in High School, someone who manipulated and used me for ten years until I finally kicked her to the curb. My life has gone nowhere but up since, it was one of the best things I ever did. I pretty much don't think too much about her, except when I am yelling at her to myself and pacing around my room.

Imagine my surprise when Anita showed up at ROP. And of course, it seems like her favorite topic is former friend, Andrea. I'd rather not discuss that with her. So I need to not get too close to her.

One of the themes of this journal is probably going to be antisocialness. I am really happiest when I am all by myself, and thankfully, from time to time I get to have that.

Tuesday, April 22, 2003

Can't Change Me

"Suddenly I see everything that's wrong with me
But what can I do?
I'm the only thing I really have at all..."

So I dropped by the library and checked out this excellent Chris Cornell CD, got a lot of good ones, David Bowie, Henry Rollins, etc, gonna tape them--one of my favorite cost-cutting measures.

I was hugely into Soundgarden; this guy is a tremendous songwriter.

Lollapalooza is back, Audioslave will be there and Jane's Addiction & Queens of the Stone Age, both of whom also rock my socks off, but unfortunately there are no funds for concerts this summer, otherwise I would be SO going to Counting Crows, which really sucks.

I will be back within the next couple of days to get into more depth about things other than music, I'm just tap-dancing around before I really get goin'.

Monday, April 21, 2003

Audioslave Video

OK---Chris Cornell is just a SHMOKIN' HOOOOOTTIE!!!!!

Let's just get that straight from the outset--in addition to the sexalicious Adam Duritz & David Immergluck, I am a fan of the former Soundgarden frontman.

Tom Morello, I advocate your peacenikism, dude, and you are an excellent guitar player, but it’s all about the Cornell...