Listen, punk:

If you could go back and talk to yourself at age 16, what 5 things would you say?

1. Quit smokin' that damn dope!
2. Do your homework!
3. Kick that manipulatin' bitch you call a best friend to the curb, she will cost you more money, time, and tears than she is worth.
4. Ya know, boys are not really evil. You are gonna really like them someday. Get your nose out of the weird books once in a while and find one to talk to. No, screaming at Ian Gillian from the edge of the stage does not count.
5. Put the damn bong down, hippie!