One TERF's Viewpoint

So, Dylan Mulvaney won "Woman of the Year" 

from an LGBTQ magazine, and called people like me, who actually don't really hate them, but have issues surrounding the T situation, HATEFUL.

So why does this mean anything to me? Why is it my business anyway? I'm a cis woman who isn't even a part of the Alphabet Club. Because I guess I want you to know, that, technically, I don't hate you. I want you to live your truth and find your people and be fine, like it says in the video.

The thing I hate is how you're doing it. 

If I belong to a women's collective, there's always a chance trans women will want to be a part of it, because they feel they share my experiences. Because wearing womanface is the same thing as a life experience. No one ever thinks to call this cultural appropriation, but it really is.

I'm someone who's spent most of my life trying to downplay my womanishness. When I was a child, mothers were still sewing pretty dresses for their daughters, and it was also the late sixties/ early seventies transition, so miniskirts were in, even for small little girls, apparently. So a lot of the things I wore were embarrassingly uncomfortable, and often cold. 

Because I was so barely covered sometimes, I have a couple of unpleasant memories about boys doing things they shouldn't have. As I got a little older I had more choice about what I wore, and that usually included a jacket that helped me feel more covered up, and the rest of my wardrobe was a lot less girly.

As a young woman I tried makeup, and really didn't like it. A guy at work started aggressively persuing me, and I showed up the following week with all my hair cut off. 

Stevie Nicks, one of my idols of womanhood, talked about why she wore her frilly outfits and said it kept men from treating her like an old shoe. I thought, "If you're treating someone as great as Stevie Nicks like an old shoe based on what she's wearing, something's wrong with you."

I remember experimenting with my style, and bleaching my hair into a platinum blonde shade (it took a lotta bleach) and finding out how men reacted to blondes was actually kind of scary--I used to have to take the bus home at night, and men literally acted like they were going to kill you.

From my teen years all the way up to now, I have favored a jeans & t-shirt look, with lots of added flannel and hoodie jackets. I wear leggings, but I don't do yoga, so I don't call them yoga pants.

I basically enjoy looking as un-girly as possible. I dress for comfort, but I won't accept that it makes me less womanly. I don't accept strictures about what I'm supposed to look like, except when I have to wear business attire.

What does all this have to do with trans folk? I guess what it comes down to is in my fifties now, I feel comfortable being the kind of woman I am, I don't have to follow a specific "woman" agenda.

When a man puts on a "womansuit", and *performs* "womanface" it brings womanhood to a reduction, and everything that *happens* and *gets believed* BECAUSE of that reduction is something I stand against without apology. This is not the same as promoting hatred.