Well, I was kind of depressed earlier this week, but I think I'm OK now. Part of it having to do with what a damn mess my room is, and having no $$$--which is nobody's fault but mine (spot the Zeppelin lyrics.)
Also, my parent's separation (which I'm sure is permanent, not that I thought it wasn't) is starting to wear on my dad. He has been bitching and moaning about how Mom doesn't love him, etc. He looks at this as Mom doing something to him. He doesn't seem to think about the fact that he didn't really act very lovingly towards her, or ever take notice of the many warnings she gave him.
I love my dad, and we get along most of the time (I could also say the same of my mom), but he really drives me nuts sometimes. He is 70, and it is like he is going senile. He talks incessantly, and he is constantly calling me into the living room when I am busy to look at something on tv, or to push food on me. He is so invasive sometimes I just want to scream, "Jesus, do you EVER shut up?" I find myself wishing he would just die, already, so Mom could come home and we could fix the house up the way she wants it.
The other day My Gay Neighbor came over and had to have me use my key to get into her place, despite the fact that someone (her cousin) was already in the house and could have just answered the door. She introduced me to him gushingly, saying, "She's cool! She can read
your Tarot cards for you!" she ended by stroking my hair with a flourish. OK.
I will be doing a Tarot reading here tomorrow, but I'm afraid the Tarot Hoedown will be going on a sabbatical, due to philosophy homework.
Regarding the philosophy textbook, I am noticing it is about as subtle as a heart attack--"How extensively have you examined the beliefs that have come to define who you are and how you live your daily life?...Are you, say, a Xian who believes in one God, because that is how you were
raised but had you been raised in India, you would have been a Hindu, believing in many Gods?"--and using the existence of God and the issue of abortion in examples explaining what syllogisms and disjunctive statements are!
I can just see some of the soccer moms and yuppie chicks who bring babies to class(there were a couple that I saw) dropping away. I know at least one of them will loudly declaim (either to the enire class, or they will seek me out--because I'm sure they will see me as one who really cares what they think) how much this material is challenging to their beliefs. Some will see this as good, and may find it refreshing for their mundane muggle brain, and others will simply cave in at the thought of actually contemplating what motivates their lives.
I am around the same age as many of these women (and the class is almost all women) and I can visualize them being the same kind of kids who picked on me in school. My only crime against them: being someone who preferred reading and thinking for myself, rather than following the herd in a mindless attempt to be popular and wear the right clothes, have the right hairstyle, etc.
Now that they are old and tapped out, after pounding out who knows how many babies, they are going to attempt logical and independent thought?
I salute those who actually succeed in freeing their minds. The rest, I will be laughing at you on the inside.