Tuesday, February 03, 2004

I'm such a Gemini!

"the synthesizer of dualities, polarities,
and opposites"

You have extraordinary gifts working with people of
all ages. You can access your deep
understanding, application, and synthetical
abilities dealing with the concept of paradox,
polarity, and opposition. Relationships are an
important focal point for personal growth and
development-- you need to feel things changing
in a relationship. You have the ability to do
multi-level thinking. You have great insite
and perception of what is going on with people.

which major arcana of the thoth tarot deck are you? short, with pictures and detailed results
brought to you by Quizilla

But enough of me stealing quizzes from http://www.livejournal.com/users/fratercapriel/.

Last night I watched Audrey Hepburn in "A Nun's Story". It amazes me that people thought (& some of them still think) that living a life of such austere self-denial can help you achieve communion with God. Even more amazing was that at one time I sort of almost was going to be one of them. Not a nun, but sort of the austere self-denial thing. I actually broke all of my Rory Gallagher & Jethro Tull records, that's how austere & self-denying we're talking. People it was bad.

Even if you want to be one of those Christian people, doesn't the bible issue the injunction to "Taste and see that the Lord is good."? What can that mean? Are you really gonna tell me that to you it means spending all day in complete silence, taking an unflinching moral inventory twice a day and writing your faults down daily in a notebook!? That talking to people is bad? That you have to feel bad for making friends with people? I honestly don't think there is any human in the history of the world (including Jesus, if he ever existed) that would be able to adhere to such strictures.

Marilyn Manson said, "I started to learn that everything that’s considered a sin is what makes you a human being." I have thoughts, I have desires, I am not allowed access to God because of them? This doesn't mean that I'm walking around town wearing nothing but lingerie and turning tricks or whatever, but you get what I mean...

So if I was to define what God was to me (at least at this juncture in my life, or this week, or whatever) it is me achieving a state of No-Mind, or No-God, and from there getting in tune with All There Is, and from there learning what my True Will is, and from there...

I "worship" at the herm of experience... That means tasting, that means making mistakes, that means being joyous, that means talking to my invisible friends and being goofy, whatever I feel like that day.

Currently reading: The Chicken Qabalah, by Lon Milo Duquette--since I am a dilettante with a really short attention span who pretentiously considers myself a Hermetic Qabalist, this is excellent.

Teen Psychic, by Julie Tallard Johnson--yeah, I know, cheesy title. I really couldn't care less what people think is fluffy/not fluffy/too eclectic/whatever--I have seen online communities where people were practically discouraged from posting there at all because anyone that asked a question or wanted to discuss something that seemed remotely fluffy they were sternly castigated and called "playgans" by the group's moderator. Anyhoo, this is a pretty good book, has a lot of interesting stuff about shamanism, which is a topic I am interested in, and lots of meditation exercises. I like to collect different meditation techniques.

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