17 more LOW CARB alternatives

Watercress

Capers

Olives

Avocados

Brie cheese

Quail eggs

Mustard smoothie

¼ teaspoon of Ben & Jerry’s

Beef jerky on a bed of organic greens

Vanilla extract on the rocks

Wax lips

Maisy the Mouse

Folding chair

Tweezers

½ pound box of pasta (box itself)

Little House on the Prairie reruns

Will Ferrell

From: Brain Lint, by Amy Krouse Rosenthal –in Curves Magazine

And the Card of the Day is: 9 of Swords, reversed—I have got to stop staying up all night! Seriously.

So much for a card a day every SINGLE day...

So I pulled a card last night and it was Justice, reversed. And I said, "OK, why?" and pulled two more cards, which were 3 of Cups, reversed, and 6 of Swords. What I got out of that was that I was in for some discord due to my selfishness and superficiality, but that I would eventually overcome this. Sometimes the cards really kick my ass. They tell me what an undisciplined slob I am.

I've also decided to add a Friday night special deal (or, as in this case, early Saturday morning.) I will do a 5-card reading to review my week, whether I need it or not. I'll call it: Friday Night Tarot Hoedown! (RuPaul voice) And believe me, honey, I will put the Ho in Hoedown.

Cards of the Week: The Devil reversed, 10 of Cups, 2 of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, 10 of Swords.

What I get from this is that my intellect will win out over my superficiality, and the winning theme from earlier this week will come into play. I am finding balance, but I also have a choice: to remember not to halt the momentum of the good things I've been doing lately, or fall to ruin. There is nowhere to go but up.

Well, I have decided to go to Curves. In a couple months I am going to be buff like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2, and my mom is paying for it. Yay!

I start tomorrow, and I feel like I am coming down with a cold--unyay, but I am going no matter how stuffy I get. I'll take some chewable echinacea tablets I got at Trader Joe's. Plus another thing I do for colds is I gargle with anticeptic mouthwash--it works better than cough drops for me. I know this is extremely good reading for all of you out there. Although, one of the things I notice is whenever I start something new like this or a job that I am excited about, I have a tendency to come down with a cold at the beginning.

And the card of the day is: Nine of Swords, reversed. Okay, so I'm kinda getting sick, but if I pushed through it, I will gain a lot more energy and health.

This just in: Cat Stevens, on the National Terrorist Watch List. Get on the Peace Train, people.

"He who makes a beast of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man."

Dr. Johnson--Epigraph for the movie, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"

Well, tonight was a nice little party at one of my client's. Nothing to really write about, so I won't. I hardly know most of these people, but they seem to accept me readily. All very suburban.

And the card of the day (drawn as my Lord Satan, in the form of Benicio Del Toro, holds court on tv)is: Knight of Pentacles. My basic responsibleness makes a good impression on these people. Things are going well.

When I was walking Sunny in the park today this teenage girl came down to me from the bleachers--there is a group of teenage kids I call the 420 Crew, because I know they are smoking the Chronic all over the place. I started this whole "acting like the class clown" thing with them, because before they really shot a lot of hostility at me, and it diffused it very quickly. I just wanted to be able to walk near my house without getting dissed. So I started walking by, rubbing my nose like it was running and yelling, "Lucius, where's my heroin?" Now they love me...I don't know which is worse.

So this girl comes down from the bleachers, and she's obviously high. She walks around looking all goofy and says "Ohmygod, I am so high, I am freaking out!" I asked her what she took, how much, etc. I kind of like joking with the kids, but I feel really guilty about it.

I sort of don't even really want to interact with them, but one of the problems I have is that I look like I am still a teenager. Most 38 year old women would see that as a great thing, sometimes it is not so great. When you look like one of them, they think you are, and they wonder why you're not hanging out with them, or whatever.

Enough about that. After I walked Eli, I was shutting him into the gated area on the side of his house, and he sort of motioned to me as if to say "Come see what I got back here!" (yeah, dogs talk to me telepathically, didn't you know that?) I followed him to the back yard, and his owners have not only a very nice pool, but an adjoining hot tub/wading pool thingy, which Eli promptly jumped into. It was funny just watching this big Husky walk around in a wading pool.

And the card of the day is: Judgement--is it time to wake up and smell the coffee? I mean that in a good way, so maybe there is an opportunity for something that I need to open up to. Hmmm...

The other day I had a weird dream, nothing long and involved, just some old people walking around the periphery of my house. They were giggling and it was kind of scary and menacing in a weird way--but maybe that was because I rarely remember my dreams.

I have been feeling like a loser lately, but not today, because, it's official, I now have a fourth dog-walking client, a Siberian Husky by the name of Eli. So there's another sixty bucks a month in my pocket.

I walked him today and he is very well behaved--his owners had taken him to obedience training. The only thing that marred my dog-walking experience was the fact that there had been a fire somewhere near the place where I walk near the end of the day, which made it very hard to breathe.

And the Card of the Day is: 10 of Cups. It's all good!

So, What's Been Going on with Me, Then?

I haven't posted in a while because I was embarrassed.

That college philosophy class that I was so exited about fell through, due to my own failure to plan. I spent all day there, going for academic counseling, etc, only to have them tell me I didn't even need to do all of that re-matriculation stuff.

I was thinking how great it was that I would be taking a telecourse and I wouldn't have to go down to San Mateo all the time (San Mateo is sweltering most of the year.) I had stupidly assumed that since it was a telecourse I could just show up and register, no problem, right? Wrong.

The class had been full for five weeks. How does a distance learning class get full? I noticed there were only two or three of us that wanted to add, would it have been so hard to let us in? But enough whining.

It has also occurred to me, over the past couple of weeks, that while I have started this Tarot Blog Ring, I have precious little in the way of Tarot content on my own blog. I'm gonna attempt to remedy that right here and now. I am gonna start by posting a daily one-card reading--not so much a prediction, as a kind of snapshot of what's going on at the time.

This was a reading I did on the 23rd of last month, regarding school:

Knight of Swords/the Moon/the Emperor, reversed--the way I interpreted this was: going off half-cocked, self deception, ill dignified authority, no fathering, rootlessness, baselessness.
What I told myself was this: Get with the program, girl, any program!
The Emperor reversed/Father connection was fleshed out a few days later, when I was talking to my parents about going to college and he went "You're going back to SCHOOL?" I said yeah and he made a little harumphing noise. He's real supportive that way.
Basically the cards were telling me I was fooling myself if I thought I was gonna be successful without planning ahead. Sometimes the cards kick my ass.
Anywho, starting tomorrow I may have a new dog-walking client. I have a trial run with a Samoyed that lives across the street from the little schnauzer.
And our daily one-card reading says: Page of Swords, reversed. Well I just suck, that's all.